The first time I flew home from college, my father picked me up at the airport. On the way home he told me he wanted me to be prepared because my mother was acting odd lately.
"What do you mean?" I asked with a sinking feeling taking over.
"She's just been acting a little out of it lately," he said. "Just yesterday I found her in the bathroom with a saw, cutting the toilet seat."
"Cutting the toilet seat!" I said. "What in the world is the matter with her?"
"I'm not sure," he said. "She just kept saying she had to get the house ready because her half-assed son was coming home."
My cousin Jerome remembered how my father recounted that story with relish just last year.
Aunt Edith remembered her husband, my Uncle John, telling how he and Dad were walking down the street one afternoon when my father told John he wanted to introduce him to two attractive women who were walking towards them. John smiled at the women and stopped in front of them, waiting for the introduction that didn't happen as my father kept walking past the two strangers.
Which was probably a little more embarrassing than the time my father and John were in a car getting on the New York State Thruway. As they approached the toll booth to get a ticket, my Dad told John they were only going two exits so he should tell the attendant he wanted a Quik Trip Ticket. And apparently John kept insisting he wanted a Quick Trip Ticket until the attendant told him there was only one kind of ticket and John realized he had been tricked again.
Kind of like the man my mother recalled, who came home from work with Dad to have dinner with us. At the door, Dad told him he had to take his shoes off because my mother was Japanese. And so this guy met my very non-Japanese mother and she was wondering why he wasn't wearing any shoes.
Sure there have been tears this past week, but lately lots more laughs as people remember my father who was one of the world's great pranksters and story tellers. He was a man who made people laugh a lot. He was so good at it that we're still laughing a lot even though he's not with us.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Coming Home
Before I write anything else, I want to thank all of you who have left messages here or sent e-mails. The thoughts of friends and family have easily been the greatest help in dealing with the sadness of losing my father. I know I always stumble for words when offering condolences, but I now realize the words hardly matter. It's just letting people know you care for them and hope they are getting through their sadness. So thanks to all of you who let me know that.
I have been in Rutland with my mother for the last couple of days. With impeccable timing, I arrived after my brother Bob had helped her with most of the difficult tasks of dealing with funeral homes and sorting out financial stuff, and my "tasks" have been to run a few errands and eat my mother's cooking.
Getting here was one of those journeys that beg not to be repeated. LK and I were in Bali when the bad news came, and the flight I rescheduled out of there required me to fly north to Singapore before transferring to a flight south to Melbourne. From there I flew home to Hobart in the early afternoon to repack, grab my passport and catch a flight the next morning to Sydney. OK, I also had enough time to have a wonderful visit from Jason and Laura - wonderful except that Jay continues to beat me badly in Wii Golf.
Arriving in Sydney, I made my way to the international terminal to take a United flight to Los Angeles. There I had a 14-hour layover before going on to Chicago. Fortunately, Linda had tracked down a day rate at the airport Travelodge hotel, and for $49 I was able to get a room which gave me a chance to sleep a few hours, take a shower and BEST OF ALL have dinner at the Denny's connected to the hotel where the big decision hinged on sticking to the South Beach low carb, low fat diet or giving in to their latest promotions involving a drink that they described as "peanut butter and chocolate via a straw" or a dish comprising "double chocolate pancake puppies with peanut butter sauce".
I must be getting old, but it was easy to stick to the diet.
Anyhow, I checked out after dinner and caught the red-eye to Chicago, which at 4 hours is way too short to let you get enough rest before landing at 5am. A couple of hours layover there, then a flight of about 2 hours to Albany New York where I rented a car and drove 2 hours to Rutland.
It was time-consuming, but the older I get the more I get used to being tired anyway. It's really good to be here with my Mom, even if I have ended a lot of our conversations by falling asleep in the middle of them.
I am not sure if this whole journey illustrates how far away we are or how it is possible to be together in only a few days no matter where we are. Either way, I will be leaving Tuesday morning and back home by Thursday afternoon. I suspect I will be happy to stay on the ground for a while.
I have been in Rutland with my mother for the last couple of days. With impeccable timing, I arrived after my brother Bob had helped her with most of the difficult tasks of dealing with funeral homes and sorting out financial stuff, and my "tasks" have been to run a few errands and eat my mother's cooking.
Getting here was one of those journeys that beg not to be repeated. LK and I were in Bali when the bad news came, and the flight I rescheduled out of there required me to fly north to Singapore before transferring to a flight south to Melbourne. From there I flew home to Hobart in the early afternoon to repack, grab my passport and catch a flight the next morning to Sydney. OK, I also had enough time to have a wonderful visit from Jason and Laura - wonderful except that Jay continues to beat me badly in Wii Golf.
Arriving in Sydney, I made my way to the international terminal to take a United flight to Los Angeles. There I had a 14-hour layover before going on to Chicago. Fortunately, Linda had tracked down a day rate at the airport Travelodge hotel, and for $49 I was able to get a room which gave me a chance to sleep a few hours, take a shower and BEST OF ALL have dinner at the Denny's connected to the hotel where the big decision hinged on sticking to the South Beach low carb, low fat diet or giving in to their latest promotions involving a drink that they described as "peanut butter and chocolate via a straw" or a dish comprising "double chocolate pancake puppies with peanut butter sauce".
I must be getting old, but it was easy to stick to the diet.
Anyhow, I checked out after dinner and caught the red-eye to Chicago, which at 4 hours is way too short to let you get enough rest before landing at 5am. A couple of hours layover there, then a flight of about 2 hours to Albany New York where I rented a car and drove 2 hours to Rutland.
It was time-consuming, but the older I get the more I get used to being tired anyway. It's really good to be here with my Mom, even if I have ended a lot of our conversations by falling asleep in the middle of them.
I am not sure if this whole journey illustrates how far away we are or how it is possible to be together in only a few days no matter where we are. Either way, I will be leaving Tuesday morning and back home by Thursday afternoon. I suspect I will be happy to stay on the ground for a while.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Vale, Dad
Red Kennedy, my father, died this morning.
It is too hard to sort out feelings and thoughts right now, but I will miss him very much.
He was a great father. I am old enough and have heard the stories of so many other people to know how blessed I was to have such loving, supportive parents as my Mom and Dad.
And he was a surprising man, as well. Many who knew him would be unaware that he loved writing poetry. Given the time of year, I thought it might be nice to run one of his poems here.
Rest in peace, Dad.
Waiting for Spring
By John "Red" KennedyI am hopefully waiting for spring to appear
To wash away all the winter fears
Of slippery roads and piles of snow
And give the flowers a chance to grow
They are sticking their heads out ever so slight
But the frost comes back most every night
I know they will win out in the end
And their lovely blossoms on stems will bend
The vegetable gardens are in men's thoughts
They will have to wait awhile to prepare their plots
The sprouting and growth will surely come
As His labor of love has just begun
Fishing season seems to fit in here
With a reel and a rod and a couple of beers
They roam the streams all about
Hoping to catch that elusive trout
The hay in the meadows is starting to grow
And come July the first cutting they'll mow
But for now the sugaring season is here
Their yield will be short and sweet I fear
Baseball has started, so it must be spring
As the bat on the ball has the familiar ping
The roads are full of potholes and bumps
When you drive over them, they give you a thump
And in conclusion I would like to say
Spring is not always this way
Monday, March 12, 2012
Joe's Gone
We haven't seen Joe for five days now, not since he put the finishing touches on the bathroom he renovated for us. Our lives seem a little empty without him. After all, he was here nearly every day for seven weeks and we grew quite fond of him.
Oh sure, I always knew this was just a summer thing that would end some day when Joe went on to other projects. And to be honest there is a limit to how many times in our lives we want our tiles laid or need a good grouting.
Rob the painter is here now, but it's definitely not the same. This is three or four days of slap and roll and then he too will stop coming around. And then there will be only one tradesman left, the guy who will put in the carpets.
But with only the bedroom and closet, there's no question it will be a quick lay and see-you-later on the way out the door.
Such is life with tradesmen in reno land - the center of your world for a while, then never to be seen again. But at least we have lovely memories of our times together:
Oh sure, I always knew this was just a summer thing that would end some day when Joe went on to other projects. And to be honest there is a limit to how many times in our lives we want our tiles laid or need a good grouting.
Rob the painter is here now, but it's definitely not the same. This is three or four days of slap and roll and then he too will stop coming around. And then there will be only one tradesman left, the guy who will put in the carpets.
But with only the bedroom and closet, there's no question it will be a quick lay and see-you-later on the way out the door.
Such is life with tradesmen in reno land - the center of your world for a while, then never to be seen again. But at least we have lovely memories of our times together:
 |
| The shower is great - but it's tough seeing much with the window reflecting on the glass panel |
 |
| The room may never look so neat and tidy again, so enjoy |
 |
| Not sure why they call it a vanity, but there you go |
 |
| A throne fit for a king |
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Bath and Beyond
What a hot weekend! Yesterday the temperature rose to 39C - that's more than 102F for the folks in America. Today we're going back up to 37 (99F). And the best news - we've been getting nice breezes off the water and even though it's very warm, it's not humid and definitely not unpleasant. Very best news - it is very comfortable sleeping.
The house doesn't have air conditioning, and it's pretty obvious that we would never need it after yesterday's near-record temps.
What the house does have, however, is a nearly-new guest bathroom. This was not on the cards. Or to be accurate, was not on my cards. I am not 100% sure about my beloved's cards.
Perhaps the best way to explain what has happened is to just list the thinking without elaborating:
1. LK points out that the shower cubicle in the guest bathroom definitely needs replacement. Since we have the cast and crew of Australia's Slowest Home Renovation in for the month doing the bathroom off the main bedroom, let's have them do that at the same time.
2. DK suggests that if they're going to do that, we may as well get a larger shower cubicle so XXL people can turn around.
3. LK agrees and adds that it is very economical to do the guest bathroom this way because we won't need to change the vanity or tile the floor or do any work with the plumbing.
4. We have a new vanity. They are tiling the floor. The plumber was in yesterday.
As you might guess, there were a few steps in between, but I doubt that anyone who knows us is surprised by the end result.
I am certainly not surprised. Because we had exchanged toilets for the master bath, we had ended up with a $19 credit at the plumbing supply store. I knew at that moment that this would burn a hole in LK's psyche until she had to spend it. And I knew there aren't a lot of things at Mornington Plumbtec that cost only $19.
Anyhow, the guys were sweating away yesterday, working all Saturday to move things ahead. The master bath is 95% there now that the shower panel has been installed and the mirror mounted over the vanity. Only a few things like towel rings and toilet paper holders left to install.
The guest bathroom floor is 80% tiled. The shower walls and the backsplashes for the tub and (new) vanity need to be done, and then the glass for the cubicle installed. Then we bring in the painters and the carpet guys.
It should happen fairly quickly. No, let me be precise. It could happen fairly quickly. But at the pace of this work so far I wouldn't be surprised if our hot late summer days are a distant memory and we're wearing wool and turning the heat up by the time it's done.
The house doesn't have air conditioning, and it's pretty obvious that we would never need it after yesterday's near-record temps.
What the house does have, however, is a nearly-new guest bathroom. This was not on the cards. Or to be accurate, was not on my cards. I am not 100% sure about my beloved's cards.
Perhaps the best way to explain what has happened is to just list the thinking without elaborating:
1. LK points out that the shower cubicle in the guest bathroom definitely needs replacement. Since we have the cast and crew of Australia's Slowest Home Renovation in for the month doing the bathroom off the main bedroom, let's have them do that at the same time.
2. DK suggests that if they're going to do that, we may as well get a larger shower cubicle so XXL people can turn around.
3. LK agrees and adds that it is very economical to do the guest bathroom this way because we won't need to change the vanity or tile the floor or do any work with the plumbing.
4. We have a new vanity. They are tiling the floor. The plumber was in yesterday.
As you might guess, there were a few steps in between, but I doubt that anyone who knows us is surprised by the end result.
I am certainly not surprised. Because we had exchanged toilets for the master bath, we had ended up with a $19 credit at the plumbing supply store. I knew at that moment that this would burn a hole in LK's psyche until she had to spend it. And I knew there aren't a lot of things at Mornington Plumbtec that cost only $19.
Anyhow, the guys were sweating away yesterday, working all Saturday to move things ahead. The master bath is 95% there now that the shower panel has been installed and the mirror mounted over the vanity. Only a few things like towel rings and toilet paper holders left to install.
The guest bathroom floor is 80% tiled. The shower walls and the backsplashes for the tub and (new) vanity need to be done, and then the glass for the cubicle installed. Then we bring in the painters and the carpet guys.
It should happen fairly quickly. No, let me be precise. It could happen fairly quickly. But at the pace of this work so far I wouldn't be surprised if our hot late summer days are a distant memory and we're wearing wool and turning the heat up by the time it's done.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Little Room
There's a world
Where I can go
And tell my secrets to
In my room
In my room
The Beachboys, "In My Room"
We have spent the past month fixing up the most important room in the house. My favorite room. The very private room dedicated to getting naked, getting wet and taking care of bodily functions. The bathroom.
We have not used the bathroom off our bedroom since we moved in. It had no shower, only a spa tub, and we are not tub people. (Yes, I know I am a tubby person, but there's a difference.) In fact, when we sold our Sydney house we had lived in it for 9 years and never once even turned the tap on in the bathtub much less sit and soak.
Once we moved here, I made a comment which, in hindsight, may have been a mistake. I said how nice it would be to get rid of the spa tub and put in a walk-in shower,
Replacing a tub with a shower sounds simple but it's the first step on that slippery slope known as renovation. Can't remove the tub and put in a shower without tiling. Might as well tile the whole room once we start. Since we're doing the floor, this is also the perfect time to put in under-floor heating. And we certainly don't want an old vanity with new tiles. Ditto the mirrors. And just how out of place is that old toilet going to look with all this new stuff? Oh, and since we have tilers and plumbers in, shouldn't we at least replace that grotty old shower in the guest bathroom? And it's only a tad more to get new taps for the vanity and bath there to match the new shower. But don't worry. We will save money because we won't get a new vanity there.
Those, needless to say, are not all my thoughts, but rather a pretty good approximation of the logical conclusions of Project Manager Linda. With her leadership and management, we are now almost through the renovation of the master bathroom. All that needs to be done is installing the screen to the walk-in shower, hanging the mirror, putting up the bits like towel hooks and toilet roll holder, and painting the bit of wall at the top that isn't being tiled.
To be very fair, I have contributed a few ideas, most having to do with comfort and ensuring a large human can easily move around the room. Project Manager Linda has done the rest, and successfully reprised a technique she used during the kitchen renovation.
Working without a budget, she declares to me, to tradesmen, to just about anyone who will listen, that she doesn't want a $20,000 bathroom. That is a statement with which I can very easily (very, very, very easily) agree. Some time during the project, though, the success and reasonableness of the final project gets equated to that statement. If the room is beautiful and if it didn't cost $20,000, it is a success. And when, as in this case, we don't come remotely close to spending $20,000, then it is a roaring success.
As it is.
The trouble right now is that this project isn't quite done and has been dragging on well past when it should. Originally we were set to have the work done in October when we returned from the US, but Joe the Tiler had not reserved the time for us as we asked. Then it was going to start right after the New Year but Joe had a family medical problem.
And I am not even going to mention chasing down the tiles we had paid for when the company went bankrupt. OK, I've mentioned it, but I don't want to relive it.
It finally started on January 24, but Joe was backed up so badly with his projects that he has been spending only part-time here. Completion had been promised by February 10. We think it may be this week.
Anyhow, once Joe leaves, we're getting the painters in and laying carpet in the bedroom, hanging the drapes and calling 5/7th of the house done. Or 5/8th if you count the extension we are thinking about. But now is not the time to have that discussion.
I uploaded pictures of the shower installation's progress here. Having documented the stand-up part of the room I will upload the sit-down side of the room tomorrow. Completed pictures by the June solstice. (A joke. I hope.) And we will be able to go to the US then with the change left over from our not-a-$20K bathroom.
Where I can go
And tell my secrets to
In my room
In my room
The Beachboys, "In My Room"
We have spent the past month fixing up the most important room in the house. My favorite room. The very private room dedicated to getting naked, getting wet and taking care of bodily functions. The bathroom.
We have not used the bathroom off our bedroom since we moved in. It had no shower, only a spa tub, and we are not tub people. (Yes, I know I am a tubby person, but there's a difference.) In fact, when we sold our Sydney house we had lived in it for 9 years and never once even turned the tap on in the bathtub much less sit and soak.
Once we moved here, I made a comment which, in hindsight, may have been a mistake. I said how nice it would be to get rid of the spa tub and put in a walk-in shower,
Replacing a tub with a shower sounds simple but it's the first step on that slippery slope known as renovation. Can't remove the tub and put in a shower without tiling. Might as well tile the whole room once we start. Since we're doing the floor, this is also the perfect time to put in under-floor heating. And we certainly don't want an old vanity with new tiles. Ditto the mirrors. And just how out of place is that old toilet going to look with all this new stuff? Oh, and since we have tilers and plumbers in, shouldn't we at least replace that grotty old shower in the guest bathroom? And it's only a tad more to get new taps for the vanity and bath there to match the new shower. But don't worry. We will save money because we won't get a new vanity there.
Those, needless to say, are not all my thoughts, but rather a pretty good approximation of the logical conclusions of Project Manager Linda. With her leadership and management, we are now almost through the renovation of the master bathroom. All that needs to be done is installing the screen to the walk-in shower, hanging the mirror, putting up the bits like towel hooks and toilet roll holder, and painting the bit of wall at the top that isn't being tiled.
To be very fair, I have contributed a few ideas, most having to do with comfort and ensuring a large human can easily move around the room. Project Manager Linda has done the rest, and successfully reprised a technique she used during the kitchen renovation.
Working without a budget, she declares to me, to tradesmen, to just about anyone who will listen, that she doesn't want a $20,000 bathroom. That is a statement with which I can very easily (very, very, very easily) agree. Some time during the project, though, the success and reasonableness of the final project gets equated to that statement. If the room is beautiful and if it didn't cost $20,000, it is a success. And when, as in this case, we don't come remotely close to spending $20,000, then it is a roaring success.
As it is.
The trouble right now is that this project isn't quite done and has been dragging on well past when it should. Originally we were set to have the work done in October when we returned from the US, but Joe the Tiler had not reserved the time for us as we asked. Then it was going to start right after the New Year but Joe had a family medical problem.
And I am not even going to mention chasing down the tiles we had paid for when the company went bankrupt. OK, I've mentioned it, but I don't want to relive it.
It finally started on January 24, but Joe was backed up so badly with his projects that he has been spending only part-time here. Completion had been promised by February 10. We think it may be this week.
Anyhow, once Joe leaves, we're getting the painters in and laying carpet in the bedroom, hanging the drapes and calling 5/7th of the house done. Or 5/8th if you count the extension we are thinking about. But now is not the time to have that discussion.
I uploaded pictures of the shower installation's progress here. Having documented the stand-up part of the room I will upload the sit-down side of the room tomorrow. Completed pictures by the June solstice. (A joke. I hope.) And we will be able to go to the US then with the change left over from our not-a-$20K bathroom.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Waist Management
We've been on this diet a month now. It's pretty much the South Beach with a few tweaks here and there. The first two weeks are the toughest - no booze, no starch, no fruit, no sugar, almost no carbs and almost no fats. Of course you lose weight fast, but the creator of the diet knows that you don't get fat because you have great will power so he moves you onto Phase 2.
It seems like a mini-Christmas. You can add in a starch, a fruit, a couple of glasses of wine. It's still small portions, of course. LK and I almost drooled as we toasted a single piece of spelt bread for our afternoon snack. I even surprised myself by discovering that I craved fresh fruit more than old wine. So I had a small apple one day, counted out my allowance of 12 cherries the next and went into dieter heaven with four apricots the day after that.
All of which is odd because I ate almost no fresh fruit before the diet.
The wine allowance is vague - and I am delighted it is. "You can even enjoy one or two glasses of wine with your dinner" is the wording. Now you may not consider that vague, but I believe I am remaining well within the limits of the diet if I use large water tumblers instead of those skimpy little wine glasses. After all, they don't say you can't.
The second phase, of course, slows down the rate of weight loss. After losing a quick 10 pounds in the first two weeks, I've now lost 4 pounds in the next two. (By the way, I am truly bi-measured and can think in pounds or kilos. But there was never any question that pounds was the measurement of choice for my diet. Can you even compare the psychology of "I've lost more than 2 pounds" to "I've lost 1 kilo"? I don't think so. And if our scales measured in ounces, I would probably move to them.)
The slower weight loss in Phase 2 makes sense and must be healthier, of course, but with my size and target weight, it also means I am likely to be on this phase for another year or more. Which is where my bride enters the picture.
Linda started us down this course of weight loss with the stated desire of keeping me around longer. Had she really thought that through, I am not sure she would have been so committed to the program, but nonetheless it is her efforts that are making this work.
Like a contestant on one of those cooking competition shows, she has set about trying to use the allowable mix of foods to make meals that taste great, are varied and don't rely on large mounds of lettuce and veggies to fill you up.
And for four weeks, we have had dinners that make me forget we are watching our waistlines. Last night we had three lovely lamb cutlets with a salad of broadbeans, mint and quinoa. After hearing so much about it, last year was the first time LK used quinoa, the grain that seems to me like a stepchild of rice and couscous, and she was excited to see it on the list of starchy foods that could be added back to the diet on Phase 2.
Perhaps in her excitement, she overdid it last night with a whopping huge serve of the salad. You know you've locked into the dieter's mentality when you're eating grains and beans and the cook apologizes that tonight is a bit of a carb overload.
Which, it turned out, was OK. I still lost 16 ounces yesterday. More quinoa, LK!
It seems like a mini-Christmas. You can add in a starch, a fruit, a couple of glasses of wine. It's still small portions, of course. LK and I almost drooled as we toasted a single piece of spelt bread for our afternoon snack. I even surprised myself by discovering that I craved fresh fruit more than old wine. So I had a small apple one day, counted out my allowance of 12 cherries the next and went into dieter heaven with four apricots the day after that.
All of which is odd because I ate almost no fresh fruit before the diet.
The wine allowance is vague - and I am delighted it is. "You can even enjoy one or two glasses of wine with your dinner" is the wording. Now you may not consider that vague, but I believe I am remaining well within the limits of the diet if I use large water tumblers instead of those skimpy little wine glasses. After all, they don't say you can't.
The second phase, of course, slows down the rate of weight loss. After losing a quick 10 pounds in the first two weeks, I've now lost 4 pounds in the next two. (By the way, I am truly bi-measured and can think in pounds or kilos. But there was never any question that pounds was the measurement of choice for my diet. Can you even compare the psychology of "I've lost more than 2 pounds" to "I've lost 1 kilo"? I don't think so. And if our scales measured in ounces, I would probably move to them.)
The slower weight loss in Phase 2 makes sense and must be healthier, of course, but with my size and target weight, it also means I am likely to be on this phase for another year or more. Which is where my bride enters the picture.
Linda started us down this course of weight loss with the stated desire of keeping me around longer. Had she really thought that through, I am not sure she would have been so committed to the program, but nonetheless it is her efforts that are making this work.
Like a contestant on one of those cooking competition shows, she has set about trying to use the allowable mix of foods to make meals that taste great, are varied and don't rely on large mounds of lettuce and veggies to fill you up.
And for four weeks, we have had dinners that make me forget we are watching our waistlines. Last night we had three lovely lamb cutlets with a salad of broadbeans, mint and quinoa. After hearing so much about it, last year was the first time LK used quinoa, the grain that seems to me like a stepchild of rice and couscous, and she was excited to see it on the list of starchy foods that could be added back to the diet on Phase 2.
Perhaps in her excitement, she overdid it last night with a whopping huge serve of the salad. You know you've locked into the dieter's mentality when you're eating grains and beans and the cook apologizes that tonight is a bit of a carb overload.
Which, it turned out, was OK. I still lost 16 ounces yesterday. More quinoa, LK!
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