I Like Bing Lee

This retirement thing just keeps getting better. Today, only 16 days before Christmas, I went to the mall to get some things we needed. At 10am on Tuesday, there were about 10,000 more parking spaces available than were usually free at the times when we used to shop on the weekends.

In fact, I had my choice of several spots right next to the entrance. And when I went inside, there was hardly anyone shopping. But best of all, the people who worked in the stores still tried to act like they were busy and made great efforts to ignore me. Not everyone likes this benign neglect level of service but because I really hate shopping, I hate it even more when some total stranger is trying to be of "assistance" when I just want them to bug off.

It did occur to me that the mall may have been quiet more because of George "Little Hoover" Bush and the economy he built for us as a going away gift, but it is more pleasant for me to think I've gained an advantage by being retired. So that's how it's going to play out in my mind.

The stuff we needed was pretty mundane - a new printer, an electric broom, a fan and new bathroom scales (Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't waste your time writing wise comments on that. I can hear them already.) Each purchase was a bit of a learning experience.

For example, the color printer from HP cost only $20 more than if I had just purchased the ink cartridges that come with it. In fact, the more expensive ink refills for our broken printer would have cost more than this whole printer did today. I remember a while ago that HP's profits as a company for the whole year equalled the profits it made from selling ink cartridges. In other words, everything else they did lost money. Interesting company - and probably why printers are so cheap now.

The thing I learned when buying the electric broom was what it was. When LK said she wanted one, I had no idea what an electric broom was. When I asked her, she looked at me as if I was a few degrees short of a semi-circle and explained that it was just a lightweight, small upright vacuum.

I didn't want her to laugh at me so I didn't share my original thought that it must be some crazy broom that sweeps by itself - kind of like in a Walt Disney cartoon. But I don't know why she didn't just say she wanted a lightweight, small upright vacuum.

With the bathroom scales I learned that they're now making digital readouts that go all the way up to 160 kilos - about 350 pounds. It will be so nice now not to go past zero and have to add the two numbers. And even nicer to know that somewhere out there must be some people who are even bigger than I am.

I didn't learn anything special with the fan, only I was more careful when assembling this one and didn't put the base on backwards as I did with the last one we had.

But the day's most fantastic learning experience was discovering Bing Lee. For you in North America, Bing Lee is a Sydney appliance and electrical retailer. Up until today my main awareness of it came from its impossible-to-erase-from-your-mind jingle "I Like Bing Lee" and the nearly incomprehensible sales pitch of Mr and Mrs Lee. The Aussies really won't want to see another one of their commercials, but the rest of you can check one out here to see what I am talking about.

Their slogan is "Everything's negotiable" and as LK sent me out today, she reminded me that it is a tough old market and I had better get some serious discounts from my purchases. Well, Mrs K, I am pleased to report that unlike a certain person who shouldn't have done it, I can proudly stand beneath a banner reading "Mission Accomplished".

I used my tried and tested negotiating technique. I told the sales guy, "My wife said I needed to get good prices, and I am terrible at negotiating. So can you help me out so she doesn't get on my case."

Let's just say, that everything - right down to the bathroom scales - really was negotiable. I should also add that I, too, like Bing Lee.