OK, enough of the Sally Fields imitation ("You like me! Right now you really like me!") Sandy and I have had a good old weep. Time to get real as these progress reports continue. Real, as in - complete and utter failure.
I am beginning to wonder why I decided to review my goals. No, I will go further. I am beginning to wonder why I set the goals in the first place. I for one have never understood why a man's reach should exceed his grasp. Seems like a pretty frustrating way to live your life. But then I go and decide I will list five goals every week until I retire and here are the entries for September 8, the five digital talents I will develop in retirement.
The marks speak for themself:
1. Learn How to Sell Stuff on eBay
Why: We have too much stuff - waaaay too much. For example, our walls have little space left for pictures. Hence, the 14 or so just sitting on the floor leaning on the wall. I will be bringing another 12 home when I stop working. And those are just pictures. I will post a separate blog some day about the nearly infinite number of things we own that we have used once --- or never. Believe me - waaaaaaay too much stuff.
Major concern: Linda nods yes when I bring up the concept. Tends to not even blink when I discuss the implementation.
Solution: I think I will be selling my stuff first.
GRADE: F If this were an exam, I would get a zero, nada, not a thing. We still have way too much stuff. I still should be selling it on eBay. And I've lost the best excuse - that I don't have enough time.
2. Learn How to Edit Video
Why: Now on our third video camera, we have never produced anything worth watching because I have never figured out video editing. Even those videos of Lily as a two-year-old get a bit long after 25 minutes. However, we have great footage of family and places, and it would be worth the effort to get them into watchable format. YouTube beckons.
Major concern: Movie making may not be my forte. I once filmed Ayres Rock from the same spot for about 30 straight minutes. It never moved once.
Solution: I think I will need to involve Linda and her stronger artistic sensibility in the finished product.
GRADE: F If this were an exam, I would get a zero, nada, not a thing. I haven't done a thing about this. And I've lost the best excuse - that I don't have enough time. Oh, I'm sorry, does this sound familiar?
3. MYOB
Why: No, that isn't me being rude. It's an accounting package for small businesses that Linda uses in her business. Besides house cleaner and gardener, bookkeeper is to be one more of my duties as I work my way back down the career ladder.
Major concern: I don't think the Tax Office will be quite as understanding as my current company is if I forget to include some of the entries.
Solution: I had better do this before I open the bottle of white wine.
GRADE: F Oops, I forgot to learn it. LK is back paying someone to do it. The less I write about this the better.
4. Learn to Play the Keyboard
Why: Quite a few years ago I bought an electronic keyboard with every intention of becoming at least adequate playing it.
Major concern: My parents had me take accordion lessons when I was younger. This means I am pretty good at songs that only require the right hand. It also means, I find it easier to play if I lie on the bench and reach around to the keys to play. However, I do look odd stretching my left hand in and out as I do it.
Solution: One-handed polkas to begin with.
GRADE: F It's hard to play the keyboard without one in the house. On the other hand, it's in a storage unit half a mile away and I could go get it any time. Oh, what is the matter with me?
5. Mobile Phone Texting
Why: I want to be able to continue to post blogs while I am travelling and without an Internet connection. Every time I log on to write one of these posts, Google offers to show me how to post from a mobile phone, so I am assuming it won't be that hard.
Major concern: Big, clumsy thumbs and fingers on the phone's tiny keypad. Add in eyes that have trouble focusing on the words on the screen.
Solution: Patience. And a pretty firm idea that anyone reading a post that starts "Wfdhfo dfh hfhejkh !!" will just assume I'm drunk.
GRADE: F I typed SMS messages to Davy and Jason this week. It took so long my coffee grew cold. However, in a brazen attempt to get some extra credit, I joined Twitter last week. No one is following me. If they were, they would get only dead air.
OK. I am not proud of this report. I can either blame my lack of results on my laziness, or I can blame the list I made in the first place as poorly conceived. In either case, my mantra today is: Sandy says I'm A-plus. Sandy says I'm A-plus. Sandy says I'm A-plus.
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