Saturday, June 6, 2009

Breaking News

I think of this as a sign of what retirement with Linda is going to be like. Tonight, she actually started a sentence with this: "What I was starting to say before I started talking about broken penises was ..."

If ever you need proof that there is waaaaay too much information on the Internet, you merely have to track LK's reading habits for a week. Last night she ended up reading an item listed as the most read story on News Corp's website here (they're the Fox News people). And yes, it was a story about a spate of broken penises.

According to Fox News (and isn't that how you have to start anything when you're relying on them as your source of information), doctors in Jamaica are blaming an increasing number of pelvic injuries - including "fractured penises" - on the craze for a new erotic dance called Daggering. It's almost as if Mother Nature finally figured out a just punishment for those who did Lambada, the Forbidden Dance.

Our conversation took place because I questioned how you could "fracture" a penis. Fortunately, Linda did not offer any explicit answers, but I still wonder about that because despite the nickname, I am pretty sure there aren't any bones down there and aren't bones what break in a fracture? I could check it out on the Internet, I suppose, but why do I think I would enter several non-academic sites if I tried to google fractured penises?

Anyhow, according to Fox News, daggering is "characterized by over-the-top gyrating, heavy pelvis-thrusting and daredevil leaps." Which worries me a lot because that is also how someone would describe me climbing into our very high bed.

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