Wednesday, September 17, 2008

T - 14: A Fistful of Dollars

Big news here in Oz this morning. John Murphy, one of our members of Parliament (think Congressman, Americans) complained on the floor of the House yesterday that his wife received a skimpy portion of beef stroganoff at the cafeteria in Parliament House.

Now this guy makes $130,000 a year and yet his wife is scarfing down cheap food at the government cafeteria - and complaining that the portions are too small. That may seem pretty cheap, but what elevates Mr Murphy to another level is that he feels this situation is so serious that he is willing to use the floor of Parliament to whine that some formal government intervention needs to take place. It's one thing to be careful with your bucks. It's quite another to take center stage and let the entire nation know you expect a proper portion of stroganoff for your wife when she eats at the cafeteria in the future.

Inspired by John Murphy, I am ready to let the world know that I, too, have a bit of a cheap streak in me. Simply put, I love The Dollar Store, that great shop where everything is priced a dollar.

I found out about The Dollar Store from its biggest fan, my father. When I am in Rutland, he and I inevitably find ourselves trawling the aisles of The Dollar Store looking for bargains. It's quite competitive as to who will be the bargain hunter of the day. He has a clear advantage because he can place his purchases on his walker, while I have to carry mine.

Socks, hairbrushes, glow-in-the-dark toys for Lily -- these have all found their way under the Dollar Store scanner in my recent visit although I used to wonder why they have to scan products in a store where everything costs a dollar. I stopped wondering after I spoke with a few of their staff.

My Dad goes in for a broader sort of buy - nuts, soap, kitchen cleaning products, cookies among them. We really do love buying that huge amount of stuff for so little money.

The big surprise to me is that my mother absolutely hates the Dollar Store. I think it's because, unlike my father and me, she pays attention to the other people in the store.

Well, I hate to say it, Mom, but the vote is now 3 -1 against you.

Yesterday Linda came home from having her hair done. On the way back she had stopped at our equivalent of The Dollar Store (not surprisingly, here it's The $2 Store), and she was loaded with bags of goodies.

She had ribbon, wrapping paper (orange and green, "for the times you need to give a gift and it's not Christmas"), lint pickers, manicure brushes, cat-fur-and-lint removal rollers, velcro strips, 54 hair bands, 2 cheese cloths, 4 plastic funnels, curlers, eyeshadow applicators ("You never know when you're gonna need them") and 2 balls of string.

She was proud to have a haul that size and have spent only $42. I understood the feeling.

However, I must say I was a little surprised. To say this as tactfully as I can, I always thought of Linda as more Tiffany & Co than The $2 Store. When her father visited shortly after we had moved here I remember him saying, "It's first class or no class." I am pretty sure that may be the only thing they both agreed on that year.

When I suggested yesterday that it was a bit out of character for her to fill up a couple of shopping bags at The $2 Store, Linda said, "This is the type of thing - if we're caught in between and you need wrapping paper, cheese cloth, whatever, you end up picking it up someplace that charges you three times more because you don't feel like going up to Crowie." (That's the suburb of Crows Nest, where the store is.)

So not only is my wife a bargain hunter, she's actually the sort of person who has started anticipating the day when she will suddenly need cheese cloth. The things that can still surprise you after 25 years!

They say every man ends up marrying a woman who is just like his mother. I suppose there is some element of truth to that, but it appears I may have ended up marrying a woman who is also just like my father.

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