T - 9: Show Stoppers

Oh, it's a long, long time from May to December
But the days grow short when you reach September
September Song
Maxwell Anderson, lyrics

Actually, here in Australia the days grow long when you reach September, but you get the idea. End of September = next Tuesday = retirement.

Today I am supposed to write another list of five things I will do once I retire. All morning I have been (w)racking my brain to come up with the list. By the way, there's a very interesting Internet discussion on whether you "wrack" or "rack" your brain. Some say it's wrack, which is more or less an ancient variation of wreck. Others say it is rack, as in the implement of torture. My favorite part of the whole Internet exchange about the words came when someone asked the question, "Can I rack anything else besides my brain?"

Anyhow, having (w)racked enough, today's list is going to be five things I will STOP doing when I retire.

1. I will STOP writing about the meaning and origin of words.

Why? I believe most people don't give a rat's arse about this. (By the way, it's extremely interesting to look at why the English and Australians use arse, while the Americans use ass. OK OK, this type of discussion will stop but not until I'm retired.)

Anecdote: Susan Searle once told me I had a large vocabulary. I told her it was because I had a big dictionary.

2. I will STOP telling the same stories over and over and over and ......

Why? Stop me if you've heard this one before, but Linda is fond of saying that people who tell the same stories are rude because they aren't bothering to remember what they said to you earlier.

Anecdote: Susan Searle once told me I had a large vocabulary. I told her it was because I had a big dictionary. See!!!!!!

3. I will STOP eating Indian food.

Why? There's no delicate way to put this, but that in itself is probably a pretty good clue. As I grow older, things I used to love have started not loving me. Come to think of it, that happened fairly frequently in my earlier years, as well.

Anecdote: Just listen to Johnny Cash sing, "I Fell Into a Burning Ring of Fire".

4. I will STOP reading newspapers.

Why? This may be startling coming from someone who has spent the last 25 years of his life publishing trade newspapers, but there are a couple of good reasons. First, I get more info than I need on the Internet and I really don't care if I see it on a piece of paper. Second - and probably more important - the major newspapers here are very poor quality and they don't justify the cost now that I am being more careful about money.

Anecdote: A couple of weeks ago, reporters went on strike at Fairfax, our leading newspaper publisher. The reporters said they were striking to ensure that quality, independent journalism was not imperiled by proposed job cuts. To guarantee their independence, they urged supporters to write to the Federal Government and urge them to intervene to prevent Fairfax from implementing the cuts. Yep, asking the politicians they cover to help them out in a labor dispute is the sort of independence I want from quality journalists. I think I can safely save my bucks.

5. I will STOP buying things I already have.

Why? Well, the equation is simple:
Fixed Income - Unfixed Spending = Cat Food by the age of 70.

Anecdote: I don't know how to describe the feeling of getting to page 80 of a book I have just bought and realizing I've already read it. Recently. Or I could tell you of the albums I paid for at the Itunes Store only to realize I have the CD. Or I could tell you how we just purchased a new barbecue to go with our other three barbecues. In fact, I will tell you tomorrow.